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THE RULES OF GROWING UP NOBODY TELLS YOU

Published on Thursday, December 29, 2011 Leave your thoughts »




excerpt from the THE RULES OF GROWING UP NOBODY TELLS YOU
by Heather Taylor

If it’s tougher than it seems, it’s because it’s life. What happens after high school or college or grad school is where the real learning starts. This is where you will have to make the real choices that forever affect you. There is no class in college called “Why Didn’t He Call?” or “Where is My Dream Job At?” or “I’m So Scared about My Wedding Next Month- Anybody Else Scared, Too?” I know for a fact that if these courses existed, they would be insanely popular (I’d be enrolled in the former of the trio), but there’s a good reason why they don’t and should never. Every life experience is different. Every life experience needs to be different. And if they aren’t, then what will become of your ending? Will it be happy and organic, on your own terms or will it be the way that everyone expected you to turn out? I like to believe that the happy portion will win out, even though I know that isn’t always how it is – not for everyone because our lives and the experiences within them aren’t created equal.
Here are the rules though for growing up. They’re very simple. You probably already live your life by them. Maybe you don’t, not just yet, or are afraid to because of circumstance not allowing for it. If you can try to, by all means please do.
Laugh
Laugh at yourself, laugh with your friends, your family, and laugh alone. Never take yourself too seriously because sometimes it’s more effort to be serious than what it’s worth.
Cry
I find it funny that the moment I’m absolutely convinced I’ve wrung myself completely out of tears, more flow out and when I least expect them to. Just let it out and often. Bottling this sort of thing up can only result in ugly crying for several days on end and that’s the most painful kind of sobbing I can think of.
Get Angry
Growing up sucks! I would know. Millions of other guys and girls out there are in my boat and in all kinds of other boats that I don’t even know about. We’re bound to make it to where we need to get to, but first the oars are going to break or the map will get lost or the boat will spring a leak. Be upset for that moment, for what it’s worth. Write it, draw it, sculpt it, act it out. It’ll pass. In retrospect, it won’t look as bad.
(It goes without saying that when I say get angry, I don’t encourage physical violence either.)
Eat Something Delicious
These are the years of your life where your weight is going to be under fire and depending on what you do for a living, your career may shift depending on how many pounds you lose or gain. Diet if you must, but don’t say no to all of the tasty meals life has to offer. A good, solid dinner or lunch every now and then is more than just an instant comfort to the stomach. It’s nourishing for the soul. It can turn a bad, rainy day into a warmer, kinder one. And it’s a treat for the taste buds. Don’t forget about them. They’ll take homemade vegetable soup over dry lettuce leaves any day.
Think Positive!
Smile! Go for a run! If you’re like me and don’t like running (and I’m being kind when I say that), ride a stationary bike or take a pilates class. Wake up in the morning and think not about what will go wrong or what you’re nervous about or overthinking too much about – tell yourself you can do it! Whatever it may be, push the negative thoughts away. Tell them to get out and focus on the good ones instead. Make a list of everything lovely you like if you can’t find any good thoughts. Your day may not be perfect still, but perfection is overrated. Trust on your intuition and sense of self to create a better day on your own terms.
And it’ll be a good day.

Published on Monday, October 31, 2011 Leave your thoughts »


MORE THAN HALF-FULL

by Sarah May Bates
Be a positive force. Pollute the well with rainbows and hearts! And as soon as the dark tar of negativity enters your body, grind it up and get it out. Because whether you think so or not, what you project effects everyone around you and your energy can create a chain reaction for the better. We are all sensitive beings exchanging all sorts of signals all the time. Even though the world effects you as heavily as it does sometimes, you effect the world around you right back.
Being positive will change the world a lot more than you think it will. I used to feel paralyzed by the badness in the world, thinking, “What’s the point? Why even try to help a problem when it is never going to stop it – people are cyclically spreading badness and pain.” But they are not just doing that – sometimes it just seems that way, and a constant barrage of terrible news can really get to most of us. I don’t know much about this book in its entirety but I was moved by a line I heard quoted from the Koran that said something to the effect of, “If you save the life of one man, you save all of mankind.” (I replace man with person of course.) This to me profoundly answers the question, “Why even try?” Because hope and love are alive and they are the true foundation of the human soul that can heal all. If you can become a positive influence in this universe, it multiplies and reverberates in ways you cannot know or see or quantify. Love is what makes us different and amazing and in the face of all the conflicts and fears and fighting, it’s the only thing that matters. We are all born good but we sometimes become dulled and lost on our path. Keep the light bright and you help change the world. Your smile, your energy, your kindness soothes and cures the pain of others in the most subtle of ways. It reminds a stranger that we are all good, people mean well, and the future is bright.
I thank all those who remain positive despite their hardship and remain kind despite the brutality of others. Thank you for the people that hold elevators for strangers. Let people in, in traffic. That get screwed by people that are just out to scam them but then spend a lot of their energy evaporating that rage and letting it fly out the window. The people that don’t think money is the most important thing in the world. That want to be responsible, respectful and to uproot their prejudices. The people that smile at you when passing in a hallway at work. The people that tell you when they like something you’re wearing. The people that compliment you when you did something really great even though they are helplessly jealous. The people that admit they’re jealous. The people with generous laughs. The people that are somehow magically never unkind. People that weep at beauty. The people that celebrate their friends when they win the lottery, and they mean it. The people that are kind to the the troubled, even when they are afraid. Because you don’t know it, but you are saving the world by existing. You represent the pure good we are all born with but that can get dulled along the way. I believe we can all get there and work to stay there, and if you tune your body and mind toward peace and balance this center inside you will grow stronger. It’s like there’s an evil force trying to pollute us all and in order to get rid of that crap you’ve gotta cough it out like ash. Whatever you do don’t spread it. There’s a lot of terrible stuff going on out there, and you know what? It’s always gonna be. You can either contribute to it or be a force for good. I firmly believe whatever you put out there will come back to you, and however you treat others they will be more inclined to treat you back. It’s fun to be nice. And it makes you feel awesome. You matter.

Just ♥

Published on Thursday, July 21, 2011 Leave your thoughts »




There’s no time for regrets. Life is too short for that. Do what you feel you need to do. Love the people around you. Love without having expectations. Give without expecting for anything in return - because that is the greatest gift a person can have. People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Be good anyway. Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway. People need help, but may attack you if you try to help them. Help them anyway. In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway. 

- Mother Theresa -

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Virtue

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The ancients said, “Money is something external to this physical body.” Everyone knows it, yet everyone pursues it. A young man seeks it to satisfy his desires; a young woman wants it for glamour and luxury; an elderly person goes after it to take care of himself in his old age; a learned person desires it for his reputation; a public official fulfills his duty for it, and so on. Thus, everybody pursues it.
Some people even compete and fight for it; those who are aggressive take risks for it; hot-tempered people resort to violence for it; jealous people might die for it in anger. It is the duty of the ruler and officials to bring wealth to the populace, yet promotion of money-worship is the worst policy one could adopt. Wealth without virtue (de) will harm all sentient beings, while wealth with virtue is what all people hope for. Therefore, one cannot be affluent without advocating to virtue.
Virtue is accumulated in past lives. Becoming a king, an official, wealthy, or nobility all come from virtue. No virtue, no gain; the loss of virtue means the loss of everything. Thus, those who seek power and wealth must first accumulate virtue. By suffering hardships and doing good deeds one can accumulate virtue among the masses. To achieve this, one must understand the principle of cause and effect. Knowing this can enable officials and the populace to exercise self-restraint, and prosperity and peace will thereby prevail under heaven.
Li Hongzhi
January 27, 1995 

Published on Wednesday, July 6, 2011 Leave your thoughts »

"And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."
— Paulo Coelho (The Alchemist)

This really reminds me of the words from a very great professor of mine. "The universe will respond to your desires". Words that she told us during our tough, stressing and brain draining college times. And I believe that our will is a special power. It controls you.

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Audrey Hepburn

"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles."
— Audrey Hepburn
 
 
And I truly believe in these words too. I think me and Audrey could be friends (haha). 
 

Touching thoughts from Bob Marley

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"Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life." 
                                                    - BOB MARLEY
 

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CREDENDA

Published on Wednesday, May 18, 2011 Leave your thoughts »

  
                               From "The Gift of Acabar" by Og Mandino


Turn away from the crowd and its fruitless pursuit of fame and gold. Never look back as you close your door to the sorry tumult of greed and ambition. Wipe away your tears of failure and misfortune. Lay aside your heavy load and rest until your heart is still. Be at peace. Already it is later than you think, for your earthly life, at best, is only the blink of an eye between two eternities.

Be unafraid. Nothing here can harm you except yourself. Do that which you dread and cherish those victories with pride. Concentrate your energy. To be everywhere is to be nowhere. Be jealous of your time, since it is your greatest treasure.

Reconsider your goals. Before you set your heart too much on anything, examine how happy they are who already possess what you desire. Love your family and count your blessings. Reflect on how eagerly they would be sought if you did not have them.
Put aside your impossible dreams and complete the task at hand no matter how distasteful. All great achievements come from working and waiting. Be patient. God’s delays are never God’s denials. Hold on. Hold fast. Know that your paymaster is always near. What you sow, good or evil that you will reap. What you are is through your choice alone. Learn to live with honest poverty, if you must, and turn to more important matters than transporting gold to your grave.
Never meet trouble halfway. Anxiety is the rust of life; when you add tomorrow’s burdens to today’s their weight becomes unbreakable. Avoid the mourner’s bench and give thanks, instead, for your defeats. You would not receive them if you did not need them. Always learn from others. He who teaches himself has a fool for a master. Be careful. Do not overload your conscience.
Conduct your life as if it were spent in an arena filled with tattlers. Avoid boasting. If you see anything in you that puffs you with pride, look close and you will find more than enough to make you humble.
Be wise. Realize that all men are not created equal, for there is no equality in nature, yet no man was ever born whose work was not born with him. Work every day as if it were your first, yet tenderly treat the lives you touch as if they will all end at midnight. Love everyone, even those who deny you, for hate is a luxury you cannot afford. Seek out those in need. Learn that he who delivers with one hand will always gather with two. Be of good cheer.
Above all, remember that very little is needed to make a happy life. Look up. Reach out. Cling simply to God and journey quietly on your pathway to forever with charity and a smile. When you depart, it will be said by all that your legacy was a better world than the one you found.

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